Grapevine September 1999

From the President

Milestones come and go. In the past the Exiles have celebrated many achievments both on and off the pitch. Last year the club held its 30th anniversary and many old members came to the party. One member present was Percy Hanna, a founder member of the club.

This year Percy is 60 years old and is still activly playing. The club feels that this remarkable achivement needs some recognition so today, Saturday 11th September we are holding a barbecue and having a game in his honour. Afterwards, Steve Langhorn (Hon.Life President) who has flown over for this event from England will make a presentation to the man himself.

What can one say about Percy? It's hard to find anything out about this man as written and photographic evidence is hard to come by. In all the years I've known him all he's become is a little wider, slower and greyer! Other than that it's same old Percy ready with a good joke.

Matt King President

Club Captains Bit

A new era for the Exiles as we make our way into the new Danish first division. This is going to be a testing time for us, but as we showed against Lindø last week, we are very capable of competing against the best in the country. Granted we need to improve our fitness level slightly, and this should be the responsibility of each individual. Matt K wants to spend time working on technique rather than stature!

The Exiles did play in the old first division many years ago, but because we had too many foreigners (15) on the pitch, we were unable to take the points for winning the games. For many years we came first in the league on points, but finished last in the standings. Those were the days when we played against Denmark and Spain instead of Speed and Frederiksberg!

Some people who remember those days will be in Lundofte on Saturday, namely, Percy Hanna & Steve Langhorne. It is a pleasure to be part of the Club honouring Percy on his many years of service. It's great to see Steve here to share in this occasion. No doubt there will be many stories and beers drunk during the afternoon!

Congratulations Percy on your many years with the Exiles. We are ordering new posts for the next season and hope to get some tackle bags and balls. This year has been quite costly for the club, so we are on the lookout for potential sponsors. If anybody knows of any leads, no matter how remote let us know, so we can exploit them in our favour. We will be ordering a new strip in the next few months and need a main sponsor for thatÉ.all ideas welcomed. Brett has many social events planned for the next few months, so leave room in your calendar. The end of season dance and pub-crawl will be joined by a table quiz or two. Brett will supply all the details here.

Enjoy this issue of the Grapevine and I hope when the next edition comes out, we'll be celebrating victories in the league and cup.

Paul Malone Club Captain

Once More In To The Breach Dear Friends

Firstly, a few goodbyes, with the Irish contingent rapidly diminishing in the club we say farewell to Ray McMahon and Paul Turley, apparently they are going to be special envoys to the Pope where they will spread the gospel of Irish rugby (Watch out John Nock).

Ray played fly half with great skill and consummate ease, he made a great difference to the Exiles backline especially when he passed. Paul was flanker and number eight, a tenacious player who was always in the thick of the action. As Vice-Captain Paul was an immense help both on and off the field. You both will be sorely missed in the Exiles (and Denmark) and we all wish you the best of luck.

So here we go for another season of rugby, slightly different from previous seasons as of course we are now playing in the First division. Be assured that this next half season is going to be a real tuffy. Luckily it is fairly short with only six league games to play in, this is perhaps a good thing so we can prepare thoroughly for each game (and have time to recover from any injuries). Hopefully we will also have a number of friendly games, where we can try different tactics and people in different positions.

The most immediate concern though is fitness, from observations and comments made about Charlies Thursday night 7's training sessions there is a considerable amount of work to be done in this area. Of course the easiest way to get fit and ready for the season is to attend training regularly, every Tuesday night starting from the 3rd of August at 18.00.

It is also worth mentioning that everyone is considered a first team player in the Exiles, as at the moment we do not have enough players for a second team you can only play for the first team. Be assured that it doesn't matter about your own opinion of yourself and where you should play, turn up and get on the park for the Exiles. At some stage of the season you might be the player who makes a huge difference to the Club. A great example of this is Percy who regularly attends training and would play if called upon - a great example to us all.

Well there you have it, this is the battle cry for the next half season. Get yourself fit, train regularly and make yourself available for every game and there is no reason why come the last game in September that the Exiles can't be top of the league.

Again for this half of the season, please try and make yourselves available for every game. It helps the team so much when there are the same core people available week in week out. When you do miss a game due to a hangover or turning up late, you are not only letting yourself down but also all your teammates and the club as a whole. Try to make yourself available and if you do, then keep to that commitment. Also as soon as you know you are not available for a game please contact Matt or myself, as it makes life a lot easier.

Crispin Hawes Team captain

VC's piece

I was happy to be offered the job of vice captain, thanks to the committee members for selecting me for the position. Maybe I'll be regretting it come Christmas after some very tough fixtures against the likes of Lindø and Frederiksberg, but no doubt all will be well.

I would personally like to thanks Paul Turley for excellent job well done. His talents both on and off the pitch will be sorely missed - even when he wasn't picked!?! But, I will be glad to see off those awful qualities of Gammel Dansk and Jagermeister he made me drink, apparently "Flanker's Drinks", I just never understood why! All the best Paul, hopefully we will all see you on tour next year.

As you already know, we have a big season ahead of us, so we need a solid commitment to training from everyone. We only train once a week, Tuesdays, 6pm at Lundtofte, so it's important to get as much out of a session as possible. Training is the key to success at this level. See you all there.

Matt Prior Team vice-captain

Match Report - Exiles v CSR 22-05-99

Result 29 (5) - 0 (0)

T - Eric 2 Paul T 1 Paul M 1 Leo 1

C Nigel 1 Nick B 1

After much confusion over the kick-off time and actual location of this important league game against CSR, it was somehow managed to get both teams at CSR's ground for 14.30 and kick-off commenced (Previously the Exiles were up at Lundtofte expecting a 13.00 kick-off).

From the outset the Exiles seemed to lack cohesion, especially in the forwards. This was compounded when Tim C had to go off for twisting his knee (Again!) and the pack had to be re-shuffled. Brett came in as hooker, with Tod moving to prop, while Paul T moved to the wing to accommodate Leo at number 8.

The first half was a scrappy affair with the Exiles not being able to get there rucking game going and indeed were rucked off the ball on numerous occasions by the smaller CSR pack, due to their better body positioning.

From an infringement by CSR the decision to kick for touch (Even though the obvious decision was to take a scrum) was taken, touch was found, the lineout won, caught and drove and Paul T managed to scramble over the line for a try. The Exiles were 5 - 0 up, without having to play particularly well.

The best Exiles play was when they tried to play in the style that we have adopted all season. Quick ruck ball to the backs, who get the ball out wide, who then themselves set up second or third phase ball for either forwards running in close channels or to spread wide again amongst the backs.

The whistle went for halftime with the score staying at 5 - 0.

The second half proved to be more comprehensive for the Exiles. With Paul M scoring a fine try, by some clever foot work and the actually managing to ground the ball by sitting on it, the half started well. The Exiles forwards got that nasty streak, which always helps win those 50:50 balls and the backs enjoying a bit more space than the previous half, the Exiles were looking to add to the score and kill the game off.

Eric on the wing then popped up with a superb try that showed his pace to the full. Eric beat two men on the outside or a great score. This was converted by Nigel. Then from the kick off came an amazing passage of play. The ball was caught and set by the forwards, the ball was then distributed to the backs on the short side who passed it to Eric on the wing. Eric then grubbed the ball along the wing and on following his kick up, gathered the ball, whilst managing to avoid the covering fall back. To finally go over for a great try under the posts. With this being converted by Nick B the score was 24 - 0.

With many Exiles forwards deciding they didn't want to get involved in the rucks, there was always going to be an opportunity for an overlap in the backs. Leo sold a dummy (One handed of course) to the CSR centre and went through for a score. This was the last score of the game with is standing at 29 - 0 to the Exiles.

Man of the match was Eric with four votes, with Paul T and Nick B joint second with two votes each.

Team - Tim C, Tod, Mark R, Crispin, Mickie A, Matt P, Cyrille, Paul T, Jon O, Paul M, Nigel, Mark L, Eric, Brett, Nick B, Leo, Jesper.

Cashisms

"Jesus that was a fast time, that was well below 1 minute 50, that was at least 1 minute 49"

"I don't care who wins tomorrow, as long as the Welsh don't loose"

"Yes he is posh, he has one of those double bucket names".

Fixtures

Sat 4th Sept - Lindø v Exiles KO 13.00

Sat 18th Sept - Exiles v Speed KO 15.00

Thurs 23 Sept - Exiles v Frederiksberg KO 19.00

Sat 9th Oct - Frederiksberg v Exiles KO 13.00

Sat 16th Oct - Speed v Exiles KO 13.00

Sat 30th Oct - Exiles v Lindø KO 13.00

Match Report - Scandinavian 7's 14/15 August

Exiles 12 Red Saints 12

Exiles had a good opening period, enjoying a lot of possesion. We moved the ball around well eventually finding Erik, who scored two good tries. Leo converted one. Half time and the game turned to Red Saints, sloppy defence and alignment led to two tries and a conversion, thus levelling the game.

Exiles 7 Enköping 24

Exiles were well pegged back in the first half, conceding three tries, two converted. Exiles picked up their game in the second period. Good attacking play by Nigel and Leo nearly led to an Exiles score, but the Enköping defence held out. Enköping broke away for another try before Exiles scored a consolation try by Matt P., Leo converting.

Exiles 19 Spartacus 17

After Saturday night's festivities, it was very pleasing to see Exiles at 9:30, looking fairly fresh, ready for the Plate tournament. We were desperate for a win following Saturday's disappointing results and put 100% effort into the opening period, some fine 7 a side rugby led to three tries by Mark L., Matt P., and Cyrille. Leo converted two. Into the second half and a sense of Deja Vu was creeping in. Some dodgy defence kept them away from the posts, reducing the chance of the extra points and winning by the narrowest of margins. Thank God!

Exiles 5 Aalborg 22

In the second knock out match, Exiles were beaten by a well drilled Aalborg side. Too many errors gave Aalborg a lot of possesion, which they converted into points. Cyrille scored a fine solo try, but by then it was too late.

Congratulations to the Exiles "Old Boys". After narrowly being beaten into second place in their group, the Old Boys found themselves competing for the plate against Malmö OBs. It was a close encounter, but the Exiles triumphed by 3 scores to 2. Well done lads! P.S. What about Charlies kick?!?

A big thank you to all Exiles which participated in the tournament, (particularly Sunday). You gave me a tremendous amount of support as acting captain, it was well appreciated.

A special mention must go to Paul Smith and Pia. Paul volunteered his girlfriend to drive to a bank cash dispenser to pick up kr. 2000 of his own cash so both Exiles' teams would be allowed to participate in the tournament as our entry fees had not been paid! Cheers mate!

Matt Prior

Paul "Servers" Turley - a visionary ahead of his time

It was with great sadness that Paul Turley left these shores (along with Ray, Paul S and soon John C.) bound for Dublin. Apparently, a clue to the true reason behind his departure was hinted at at Enterprise Ireland's Christmas party held at The Globe last July (organised by Paul). I seem to remember his boss mentioning, during her Christmas message to all invited guests, that the best Christmas present Paul (and Enterprise Ireland) could wish for was a girlfriend for Paul. She explained that Paul had "difficulties" meeting girls and despite her own efforts to match him up she pleaded with everyone to think of suitable candidates otherwise he would have to leave. So there you have it.

Paul served a fine spell on the Exiles committee, interjecting often with how the club should be brought into the 21st century with technological innovations and marvels. One such vision was to beam last year's annual dinner live on the Internet!! Can you believe that? Needless to say, the committee threw the idea out. Same with his idea to produce a CD-ROM of pictures from the past 30 years - honestly, what was the man thinking of!

Seriously though Paul, you've been a great Exile, an asset to the club, a diplomat on and off the field - you're missed!

Funny email

I was trying to see if the following sites existed: www.god.com; www.editor.com; www.proofreader.com

www.god.net exists.

If they don't exist, shall we buy them and go halves on whatever proceeds. I can't find Lexis.dk either, but am unlikely to sell it. Lexis.com exists already.

http://www.islam.com and www.hindu.com are also notable for their absence.

Anon

Cashisms by others

Crazy Cornish ref loses control of the game and his senses. "Anymore fighting in this game and the captains will be sent off"

Johan being dedicated to the cause. "I'll be there. Where is it and when?"

Brett on his working status. "I'm a self-employed individual, who works on his own".

Matt King on Logic "Just let me get the calculator, so I can do a bit of mental arithmatic".

TWAT of the Month

The first award after the summer is usually the hardest to present since we have not been in each other's presence as often. I'm sure the faux pas occur with equal frequency. This time we go back a few months and to a tour related offence. Now as a general rule, the trials and tribulations of the Exiles wanderings throughout the land remain unmentioned, but on this occasion, the offence happened before the tour ! For the second time Paul Turley is the recipient, but is not alone, his buddy in crime is none other than Ray McMahon. The story begins the night before the trip, when they go for a few quiet beers. Next morning at the airport, the two bright sparks are nowhere to be seen. Upon our arrival in Budapest, we get a call saying they had slept through the alarm. To be fair to them both though, they did catch the next plane down, but by then the award was there's. The competition was tough and only because of censorship and lack of freedom of the press, there may be a few other blokes names in print.

So to Paul & Ray, congratulations on being this months blot in the gene pool for you bright idea of just Two Whiskeys and A Taxi night out.

True story

This is apparently a common experience in Budapest. I was walking along the main shopping drag at night when two pretty girls approached me. They feigned having met me the night before and asked me if I would like to get a drink. They led me to a fancy bar, up a spiral staircase on the second floor. Before I could even look at the drink list or prices, drinks were brought for the three of us. I asked to see a menu but wasn't provided one. After the first round the girls tried to order another round but I protested and said that I wanted to see the prices. The check was then brought - a bill for two rounds of drinks was 91,000 Florents or an incredible US$360. I was outraged. The waiter brought me to a cash machine just outside the bar and told me to withdraw the money and pay the bill or else. I later found out this is an all too common scam in Budapest and is run by organised crime who prey on innocent tourists.

Anon & Anon

PROUD TO BE AN EXILE

We have done many things as a team that have brought us closer together. We had a great tour to Budapest this past spring that provides memories that still bring a smile to my face. Last season saw us progress to a very successful finish putting up many points while outclassing opponents.

It was this past weekend that has made me the proudest ever to be able to call myself an Exile. We traveled a long way to play last season's first division champions in a game that we were expected to lose. We did lose the game, however each and every guy that made the trip won my respect. Everyone played their hearts out. We were without a few key players who undoubtedly would have made a difference, but instead of rolling over onto our backs we played hard and impressed both ourselves as well as our opponents.

In reality, what we did was show one-another the potential that is there. Our determination combined with well attended training sessions will make the Exiles a dreaded opponent in the games to come.

Mark Luceri Recruitment secretary